Monday, November 10, 2008

Dear Self

I've known you for a very long time. You are smart, funny, an extremely faithful member of the church and gay.

I know that it was painful for you to go to church every week and hear the derrogatory comments made by not-so-few people in your ward. The majority didn't know that their hurtful comments about gays were affecting you personally. I know that it was even more painful for you to hear those comments from people who you have come out to, and who you assumed would be more tactful about their support for prop 8.

I know that you quit going to church a few weeks ago because you couldn't stand to hear the defamation of your gay peers during discourses given over the pulpit or in sunday school classrooms. I know that it's going to be difficult to really convince yourself to go back. But I urge you to do so. Remember that the gospel is about your relationship with Jesus Christ, and not about your relationship with a group of people.

Self, the core doctrines of the gospel are true. The core culture of the church is not doctrine. Just as segregation used to be preached over the pulpit and is now a faded memory of the past, I sincerely hope that this issue follows suit. Be strong and know that you are loved.

Your friend,


  1. I am so moved by your faith and hope in the gospel. I am so sorry that you have been subjected to this very difficult trial but I know that you will be blessed and that God truly does love you.

  2. May you be surrounded with God's unending and unconditional love. He sent His son to die for you, and loves you the same as all of his children. You will be in my prayers.

  3. I wish you lived in our ward. We would take care of you. God be with you.

  4. there are lots of things i would like to say, but i suppose, above all; thank you. Thank you for your example of not only sincerity, but courage. i will remind myself of these words when things get tough.

  5. You can better nurture a relationship with Jesus Christ in a gay supportive church. I can't tell you the feeling of freedom I felt when I left the church over this same issue in 1995. I've never looked back, never regretted it.

    You don't have to stay where you aren't wanted...

  6. This breaks my heart. Jeez man, I can't imagine being in your shoes and the pain you feel each Sunday.

  7. Me,

    I'd like to make your post a part of the Prop 8 section of Sunstone. Would you be willing to contact me at stephen [at] sunstonemagazine [dot] com?

    Stephen Carter