Sunday, November 9, 2008

Why would we spend so much energy defining what marriage is, when we have war and hate to fight.

My husband and I want to say we are sorry for many different reasons. During this whole Prop 8 debate, we've kept mostly quiet. We didn't agree with Prop 8, but we felt stuck in between a rock and a hard place. We wish we'd had the courage to be more vocal in our opposition of Prop 8, but since we weren't, we can at least be vocal with our apologies to all those affected by it.

While we still love our Church and our faith, we recognize that it was a personal decision to live this lifestyle. How dare we judge others for the lifestyle they chose to live, just because it is one we, ourselves did not pick. We are all equal! We are all just trying to live and love and laugh our way through this life. How dare we say that we are more superior to anyone else and the way they live.

We were married about 15 months ago. We met and fell in love as any couple, gay or straight, would. We keep trying to imagine how we would feel if some one told us that our marriage was not a "real" one, or less than anyone else's marriage. When we think about this, our hearts break. Why would we spend so much energy defining what marriage is, when we have war and hate to fight.

Please, from the bottom of our hearts, know that we are so, so sorry. The people of our church are not perfect. We are all humans and we make mistakes. We hope that we can correct this mistake someday soon.

Your Equals,
Aimee and Tyson Waters


  1. Hello,

    I appreciate your message but let me reiterate (for the millionth time) that we gays DO NOT CHOOSE OUR LIFESTYLE. I'm sick and tired of hearing that. It's an offensive, potentially harmful and highly misinformed position to take. The reality is this: I will never be attracted to women. Never. I can never love a woman. That's what it means to have a homosexual orientation. Accepting same-sex marriage (or civil unions - call them what you want as long as its equal) is simply an acceptance of a biological fact of life. Just as there are homosexual beetles, giraffes, and penguins, there are homosexual primates (i.e. humans). It's time the religious community STOPPED REFERRING TO GAY RELATIONSHIPS AS A LIFESTYLE CHOICE. That opinion breeds hatred because its makes it seems as though millions of people are just "kidding themselves" "confused" and purposefully turning away from God. Stop saying and then I'll accept your apology.

  2. Okay fair enough, let me first "lifestyle", I mean the life you choose to life. I did not mean to infer that gay or lesbian individuals CHOOSE to be gay. I did not choose to be straight, it is the way I was born. However, the life you choose to live IS your choice.

    By this quote: "How dare we judge others for the lifestyle they chose to live, just because it is one we, ourselves did not pick" I simply meant, in the broadest of meanings, ANY way people chose to live their lives.

    Please accept my apologies. I did not mean to offend anyone, and I truly do understand where you are coming from. Please understand, I did not mean it in the way it came across to you, Anonymous. In fact, I am somewhat surprised, as none of my gay/lesbian friends that I shared our letter with pointed that out to me. Life is a learning process, and thank you for helping me be a little bit more aware of my words.


  3. To clarify, I think what Aimee meant was that while we may not choose our sexual orientation, we choose to enter into relationships and other lifestyles that may or may not reflect that orientation. Just as Aimee chose to get married, be a Mormon, etc., homosexuals should be able to choose similar or different lifestyles.


  4. Yes, exactly! Thank you Loyd. Anonymous, I am so sorry. I am horrible with words. I truly believe in equality, I just need to phrase my words better in the future.


  5. Aimee, I am so proud of you and Tyson! Thank-you!

  6. Hello, Aimee and Tyson,

    Thank you so very much for your letter! I am a gay man who married his husband after 8 years of being together. We wanted to wait until the whole situation of prop 8 had settle down so that we could do it in the way that we wanted it to be. We wanted to have our friends and our family there to celebrate love-ours. As it turned out, we rushed everything the last minute because we were afraid of not being able to because others thought we were not good enough because we are two men. Again, it's a matter of running out to get it before someone takes it away from you. Not horribly romantic, but we made the most of it with our friends. It was a beautiful day because I got a chance to celebrate my love for my husband with a few friends who loved us back. The responses to your letter are very correct. I did not choose a lifestyle that I have to hide behind closed doors. I did not choose a lifestyle that I would have to hide from my family. I did not choose a lifestyle that brings me hate from others. This is my life, not a choice that I've made. This is the only life I will ever have.



  7. Aimee thank you for the clarification. I too thought you meant people choose their orientation. And as the first anonymous reply stated, I'm sick of hearing that too. It is illogical, and should not be accepted by anyone today.

    If only I'd been straight... how much easier my life would have been. But I was the type of member, in my younger years, who would have just accepted the message of the 'prophet,' and I would have donated to and supported Prop 8 without even thinking about it on my own.

    That is the kind of Mormon I was. That is the kind of Mormon my family members are. Being gay, after nearly killing me, forced me to open my mind and use my reasoning skills.

    It led me out of the church, and into wonderful spiritual growth.

    I am impressed you can be a Mormon and still maintain a position opposite the actions of the church. You're a better member than I ever was.

  8. Understand that Propaganda and brainwashing can run deep, it is a powerful tool to have a common enemy to band people together to do great evil. It is a well know psychological tool, without a common enemy you have a hard time gaining power as an organization.

    I appreciate your strength in seeing through this! That takes a lot of guts to not just be a sheep in the flock.

    When more are strong, they will come to understand that God is both Male and Female, would they deny God Marriage?