Sunday, November 16, 2008

This has been a huge crisis of faith for me.

I have never understood how anyone could believe that banning legal marriage from someone with a different sexual orientation somehow protects heterosexual marriage. I am confused, mortified, and profoundly distressed by my church leaders' 2008 directive to LDS members to donate time and money to intensive pro-Prop 8 propaganda campaigns. This has been a huge crisis of faith for me. In my opinion this effort should have been directed towards ways to protect all marriages from the things that really endanger couples and families like domestic violence and our too high divorce rate, among others. Please know that many in my family prayerfully voted against Prop 8. Please also know that there are many other LDS church members in distress over this civil rights issue. I profoundly hope that the California Supreme Court will uphold the recent marriages that are now so unfortunately banned, and that they will find a legal loophole in so doing that expands marital rights to all. Lastly, I have been profoundly moved by Carol Lynn Pearson's books, especially her landmark "Goodbye I Love You" and her more recent "No More Goodbyes". I have appreciated websites like that teach marriage equality to the LDS community and others. I hope they will continue in their good work to educate Mormons and others about the importance of equal marital rights for all.

I am so sorry for what my church and other churches did.


  1. I forgive you. I don't forgive the LDS Church. I hope you and your fellow resisting church members can find some leverage with your religious leaders.

    Asa DeMatteo

  2. Actually I agree and disagree with the previous poster. You voted against Prop 8, so you have no need for forgiveness. And I thank you for opposing the church's efforts.

    But I agree with the previous poster too in saying I don't forgive the LDS Church. When their leadership offers a public apology and encourages their members to undo the damage they've done to us, then I might. But probably not even then. This church has persecuted me my entire life. And I'm getting too old too fast for any apology of theirs to make a difference in my life. How? They've made it impossible for me to maintain relations with my family. And I will never forgive them for that. Even if they changed tomorrow, which they won't... the damage has been done.

  3. Pat;

    I submitted the following text and, as it was not published, I'm concluding that it was deemed to be incompatible with the blog's theme. Therefore, I'd like to offer my comment to you directly.
    I was referred to this site by a former LDS member and am very touched and moved by the sentiments expressed in the posts.

    I’m a California resident who voted on the losing site of Prop 8 but feel that efforts to grant full civil rights to all Americans must continue.

    My wife and I are also former LDS members – converted in 1978 while stationed with the air force in the former West Germany and sealed in the Swiss temple the following year. After seven years of enduring aspects of the LDS faith that were contrary to our conscience, we left in 1985. At that time, such an action required that one accept voluntary excommunication. We did so and, over the months that followed, endured the shunning that is according to such as us.

    Proposition 8 has caused a great deal of consternation within the California LDS community and, while I am certainly not attempting to recruit anyone away from the LDS faith, I would like to ask that those who have posted here make themselves aware of other faiths that offer what they may seek.

    I will leave it to the moderator regarding posting of this item.